The blonde and the three doors …
An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.
The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"
The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
Timing is everything
A gallery of stuff being destroyed, at the exact moment they ceased to be thanks to the wonders of fast photography
Bill Gates runs like a girl
Not exactly news, but hey. Video of a Steve Jobs (Apple CEO) parody featuring video of Bill Gates running like a girl at XBox Event.
And lest we forget the antics of Mr. Ballmer (Microsoft CEO):
http://www.ntk.net/ballmer/mirrors.html (featuring the Monkey Boy dance geeks know and love, and the ever popular "Developers, Developers ...")
DJ Keltech
If you've never come across this guy before, he's quite amusing.
Chuck sent me an email earlier with a link to some guy identifying him as "DJ Wankr" after he ended a 4 hour set in a slightly different way, which if you didn't know who he was, could really be taken as a sign that he is, in fact the worlds worst DJ. The guy who posted the copy of the video (which has gone around the web like lightening), has actually confessed to his crimes and links back to DJ Keltech.
Have a look through some of his scratch videos. Perhaps we should have had him for our wedding
(maybe not. but still - comedy). Highlights include Star Wars and War of the World themes.
http://www.djkeltech.com/scratch.htm
The clip that is doing the rounds actually comes from the end of his "DMC 2004 Finals" video.
I dislike Revels.
I dislike Revels. They were doing ok on their first outing until I found the coffee flavour one. Orange one too. Now the rest are tainted by their memory. Ah well.
Machine Gun Kitten
And I was going to post this yesterday, but it will undoubtedly come across as an attempt to move away from the technical posts and avoid further comment battering, but hey.
I thought it was funny

As Jez impersonating Cartman would no doubt say "No kitty! That's a bad Kitty!!"
I can’t help it. I’m a techie.
So, it's been noted that the content of this blog over the course of the last few months has verged too much towards the inanely dull and technical. That's just the way it's gone recently as I've done lots of techie things.
This blog is as much a place to share new internet toys with co workers and those friends that may find them interesting, as a place for sharing the more random, and infinitely more amusing stories.
That said, the balance has definitely more towards the tech recently, and less of anything else.
So, I'll be sure to make sure I take the time to post other stuff too. Just so happens that I spend a lot of time on the web during the day researching web techniques and the latest trends, and I post what I find as I go.
Beer – The Buffalo Theory
One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm.
Here's how it went:
"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."