George Constanza Quote
George Constanza, prob best known from the Seinfeld Show:
"The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating...
...and you finish off as an orgasm."
Some other quotes which may, or may not have been attributed to another George, George Carlin, but they're still funny.
"Most people with low self-esteem have earned it"
"Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things"
"Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity"
"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live"
"I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It's so fuckin' heroic."
"I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me ... they're cramming for their final exam."
hee hee!
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